Friday, December 30, 2005

News from the states

As I have tried to tell you all before my sister is in the states. We sent her over there in hope that she would learn to behave as a normal person and to eat with knife and fork. Today we all understood what a huge mistake we have done. Just look at what we recieved:
Emily1.0
Now probably most of you would think "What a nice picture" and the more dirty minded of you might think "What a nice girl", you can just fuck off, she would eat you alive, without salt.

But for christ sake look at the picture once more. And think about this: They took it at school. What kind of a school takes such pics of the students? It looks like they had a retired photographer from Penthouse which took the pictures for them. Probably he was standing there saying "What if you rolls around on the floor, ah perfect, touch your hair and look into the camera, ah great! And now take of your shir.... sorry, my fault, old work habit, please keep the shirt on, school policy." When I took school pictures we used to stand or sit upright and not behave like.... something... on the school floor. It's so funny that country. "No you can NOT have sex before marriage, and absolutely no abortion, ever! But please feel free to act like a sexbomb on the school photography." I imagine her headmasters home being full of pictures like this.

So Emily, get your ass home here! This minute!

Another picture which is so wrong in so many ways:
Emily2.0
This is also taken at her school, a normal picture this time, but I wonder what happened to her shoes, I guess her headmaster took them. But look at that face... Cute? yes, looks like a nicely behaved girl? yes, always happy? yes. This is all bullshit.

Anyone who has been in an argument with her feels like they have been kicked a certain place afterwards. You can not win an argument (that would be, with her, any normal conversation, specially in the morning) with her as she turns into a tasmanian devil, with wings. So you american boys living close to her, if you want to get through this alive take this advice and remember it: behave.

We miss you Emily! Specially at breakfast time!

3 Comments:

At 12/31/2005 09:38:00 PM , Anonymous Emily! said...

I have to excuse my brother and his tiny brain ( hes going through a though break up and sees the worst in everything) I know your jelous because your shorter than me, less spoiled then me, thet you cant really be a cheerleader, less attractive than me, and less popular than me, but for heaven sake what makes you think that this is a school picture ! I took it with a FEMALE private photagrapher, every body takes them when they are seniors, its like russe kort, you get them i wallet size and hand them out to all your friends. By the way the first picture are not lying on the floor! Its standing against a wall, I know im a good poser, Im going to loose 30 kilos ( I will be as heavy as you then) and start working as a model (keep on beeing jelaous!! Lov you !!!

 
At 1/01/2006 03:46:00 AM , Blogger Ole said...

You guys see what I'm talking about?

 
At 1/02/2006 10:15:00 AM , Blogger morten said...

Hah!

Those are extremely funny. I agree with Ole that there is a certain soft porno-ness to the first picture. As to the second one, what's with the midget-sized chair? What, they didn't have properly sized chairs in the studio?

Oh, well, I guess it's all in the name of cheesy art photography. Hehe, no offense, Em.

 

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