Saturday, February 25, 2006

Public service and Jaffa oranges

The other day Mr. N. Itter posted a comment in which he states:

I`m also an angry young man. Why the hell is it so difficult to get 1 kilo of propper Jaffa oranges in Norway. Ole, I want you on this case! Get me an answer...

And since I'm fond of public service here you go, the answer on why you can't get a kilo of propper Jaffa oranges in Norway:

I sent a mail to the main importer of fruit in Norway, Bama. They are clearly not interested in their own public service as they haven't replied to my request yet.


But since Mr. Itter claims to be a Lektor I expect him to use the shop located at the campus of University of Oslo, Bunnpris, and they gave me a reply.

This is the letter I sent them (I had to make a twist to reality to get a reply in english. Thats why I call me John Tender, but the rest of the request is close to the truth):

Hi Bunnpris, I have a question.

A friend of mine, Lektor N. Itter, was terrible dissapointed the other day. He is studying hard on his master thesis in media and communication at the University of Oslo. He is Norwegian, but because of his state of agony he could not get himselves to contact you.

Anyhow he is in desperate need of oranges in these dark times. He claimes it is not possible for him to study or write unless he has his daily chock of c-vitamins. If you wonder if he is a bit weird you are completly correct in assuming so, but we do like him very much, it's actually quite tormenting to see him in this state. The thing is that he went to your shop at the University campus to buy 1 kilo of good fruitful Jaffa-oranges, he claims them to be the best, but he says it was impossible for him to find this amount of Jaffa in your shop.

He blames this to be the fault of the west-wing extremists and their boycot of products from Israel (I suppose he is talking about "left-wing", but he has never been the smartest one when it comes to politics...) He is now threatening to release a fathwa upon all people who don't "...enjoy a, or a kilo of, good Jaffa orange(s) a day!" (in his presise words). You can personaly relax it. His kind of fathwa is more a danger to himselves and quite unharmful for anyone else, but I would rather not have him releasing one as I have seen his kind of fathwa before (last time he painted himself all blue and ran around naked in the hall where you got all the professors┬┤ offices, not a nice sight and he was close to being thrown out of the University for that one).

Mr. Itter during his fathwa.

So my question now, is if it is true that you have stopped selling Jaffa-oranges? If not, what is the reason for him not being able to buy a kilo of them? I know he got the money, and I have told him where your shop is (once he went to the bookstore to buy milk, but I think he got the idea now), so then what may be the reason?

I would really apreciate your reply as we all want him to get through his study so he finally can get his degree. He want to open a stamp museum when he finishes, so you will not do any harm upon the human race by replying.

Be kindly and reply by mail as the people I live with are rather bad in handing me my mail...

Sincerely yours

John Tender

And this is the answer Bunnpris gave me:


Hello mr. John Tender.

Thank you for your request.

We can asure you that there are no political reasons that vi are not selling Jaffa oranges. In this time of the year our supplier explains that spanish oranges "Cevita" are the best oranges to get and therefore the reason why We're choosing them.

There are also ├ą matter of price involved in solutions like this, but of course combined with quality.

This might not be the answer you hoped for but we hope however that the answer is covering your request.

Sincerly yours

Gxxx Hxxxxxxx


So there you go Mr. Itter. Bunnpris claims Cevita oranges to be the best at this time of the year. Of course these are filled with Basquer blood


and not Palestinian


and the spanyards are known for having pretty hot blood. But of course if you like arab blood better then you have to wait some more months. But as you see, the ETA would like you to go with them:


If anyone have any other matter they want a straight answer on, please tell me and I will check it out. Make Smoking Kills (and it looks hilarious your number one public service provider!


At 2/26/2006 04:32:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Mr Omir, that was a fruitful answer.


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