Sunday, March 26, 2006

My history of weird work part 3

After a rush of people who have been waiting in great anxiety to hear more about my history of weird work, I thought it was on high time to tell you the rest of the story.

Last time I told you about how I was selling knittingwear and Norwegian craft made in China so I could get some money for christmas gifts for my family. It should be no surprise to anyone that this job did not last for long. After christmas was finished I actually never heard from this job again.

After going around broke and unemployed for a while I started to work part time as a informationmanager at a small organisastion which sends out Norwegian youths to live an work in camps for normally 3 weeks during summertime. I though this was a great idea since I'm studying media and communication and had been working voluntarily with exchangees for quite a long time. It was quite usual for me to have 2 Brazilians, one Korean and a couple of Nigerians living in my apartment. What could be better than finally getting paid for this job?

Heal the world, make it a better place...

When I got the job I was told that it was my job to promote the organisation, make seminars on it and contact the press. As this was a pretty small organisation with a tiny budget there was of course not much money. I thought it then would be best to promote the organisation by putting up leaflets in the town and especially at the University. This was obviously wrong. I was supposed to be at the office they told me and recieve incoming calls. After this I stayed at the office and recieved 2 calls a day. One in the start and one in the end of the day.

These phonecalls uaually went like this: "Hi Ole this is Edna. I believe I forgot a cake recipe in the copying machine. Can you check if it is there?" Of course this question had some kind of a variation as the recipe had been forgotten in the fax machine, at the desk, in the toilet or in the fridge. I never found any recipe. And since not many people knew about the organisation there was not many other people calling.

Once in a while we recieved applications to go out with the organisation. I was told not to do anything with these as it was another person who was in charge of that. I could neither do anything with the webpage as the only one who had access to this was located in Rome. I did contact the press though, and I did arrange seminars, but since no one wanted to do the job to promote these with flyers, on stands or with other information and I was not allowed to do this in work hours, they where not highly successful. But the organisation did recieve more applications than normal.

Meanwhile I had this job I also had a project on a show. It was a great fireshow for a cirkus. Not any cirkus, but the GayCirkus which was to be shown at a gayfestival in Oslo.

Proud old men

This was actually not a paid project, but it was quite fun. Its always interesting to see guys who have just gone out of the locker and who wants to shout it out. But not everybody was happy about the fireshow we had. Some thought we where irritating and created chaos. But if you ask me I think we rocked the place.

Not so long after this I had a paid job doing the same stuff. This time it was for the promotion of the new "Harry Potter" book in Oslo. I was hired to do some spectacular firebreathing and blowing for the kids. But I was strictly told not to put the kids on fire. I thought that would have been really spectacular, they thought it would be bad marketing.


With the same promotion company I had my traditional "desperatly need money for christmas" job. I sold my ass out and went to the streets of Oslo to pass out commercial leaflets for a bookstore. I have had many jobs, but this is the single one where I have been deliberatley trying to avoid to meet any people whom I know.

It was actually a stupid job. We where standing outside in 20 below zero handing out propaganda to people passing by, and the least thing they wanted was to meet us. We went out in teams by three, but I always lost track of my team. I believe it was because I had the misfortune of going snowblind. After I lost my teammembers I usually went to a street closer to my home and since I was in the neighbourhood I believe it would have been wrong not to say hi to my roommates.

The company arranged competition on who could pass out most flyers. The prize was a chocolate. I had to buy my own, but at least I had money for it.


After this lousy job I actually got a pretty interesting employment. I got the honour and responsibility to have courses on life, religion, sex, ethics and other interesting stuff for 14-15 years old kids who where having their confirmation. Normally people had 1 or 2 such courses at the same time. I set a new record and managed to be put up as leader for 5 courses. I doubt if the organisation which arranged this courses wanted it to be like that, but when they understood what a mistake they had done it was allready to late.


As you can see these kids looks like angels on the day of their confirmation. I promise you that this is not how they behaved during courses. at least not all of them. The funniest incident happened on one course the day we where talking about sex. I had, as normal, drawn a vagina and a penis on the blackboard, explained the different functions of the bodyholes (no you should not put your penis into someones nose, that is not what its there for) when it was time for them to ask any question they wanted.

One girl had tried to make me blush during the whole class, and finally she got a reaction from me. This is what the 15 year old girl asked:

"Ole, a friend of mine and her boyfriend was home at her place. They where having really hard analsex on the couch in her parents livingroom, but then suddenly her father walks in. Her boyfriend got really surprised and pulled out really quickly, actually he pulled out so quick that her shit sprayed all over his body. Is that normal?"

I was laughing so hard that I could hardly answer. I think I said something about vacuum and fantasy vs. reality. I have heard this kind of stories before, but this was a new version from me.

Another funny incident happened on one of the ceremonies. Some of the older brothers clearly had a sense of practilcal humor as they managed to sneak in on the group pic taken of all the confirmants. Imagine when these arrives in the post and the young proud one is looking at it and sees his own brother standing behind him. I thought this was funny and didn't tell anyone. I guess I am a bad human being, but the organisation gave me a nice reference and actually wrote that they would like to have me on their team in the future. They have to be more mental than me.

I guess this was the short story of my history of weird work. I have also had other jobs, like working at the post office, learning kids how to use media to promote their own agendas, teaching media history, been clown at birthdays for 60 years old people and much more. But I believe I here have served you the weirdest ones. If anyone knows about anything I have lost out please tell me.

After being a confirmation leader I started to work at the busterminal and this is maybe the craziest job I have ever had. I also learn students about media history. But if anything weird happens any of these places you can bet I will tell you. So stay tuned at Smoking Kills (and it looks hilarious!




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