Thursday, March 23, 2006

Walking into war

This is so cool. They are now recruiting all 17 years old girls to the army in Norway and I think that is fantastic news. Finally the women liberation struggle have succeded in something (You know that Monica Lewinsky is publishing a new book? It's called "How to suckseed in the White House")


You see in Norway all men are obligated to one year of brave duty for their country. During this year they have to sleep outside in 30 degrees below zero, learn how to kill their fellow citizens in the most effective way and generally loose all their self respect. Its fantastic now that girls soon will be obligated to do the same duty. It makes one proud to be a Norwegian. And the girls will of course be treated just like the boys. There will be no sexual harasment in the army!


The main reason why I think this is fantastic is the fact that I have still not been in the army yet. Every second year the army sends me a letter that I will become a proud member of their organisation and have the exclusive task to guard the king. I believe the main reason for them to give me this task is because they have built new guard houses outside the castle. Because of fundings they had to build them a bit small, and I am one of the few who can fit perfectly. I can't wait to get the privilege of standing still in freezing cold getting taunted by drunken kids. But of course one may do a lot of other funny stuff.

Until now I have delayed this duty because of my studies, but next year I am finished studying and ready for some action.

Of course now you think "So Ole is looking forward to join the army to check up some chicks..." But this is not the thing. These chicks will mainly be 19 years old and I guess way under my league. I mean they are of the same age as my little sister... And there you got my point!

Me and Emily will have a splendid time doing military service together. It will be so fun! I mean we can fool around and push one another in front of cannon barrels and make booty traps with shock grenades to have some sister-brother fun. I bet you our lieutenants will love to have us together on the same table.

If we are very lucky we will both be sent off to Iran, or rather I bet you we will be sent off to Iran.


This will be a fantastic experience! As a brother and sister we can explore this fascinating culture and meet interesting people like this handsome man:


I bet you he can tell us a lot about his history and his culure, and as real brother and sister we can share the experience of listening to his stories. Before we blow his fucking head off! I will be fantastic!

I have allready found our war cry which we can yell out when we rumble through Teheran as a sibling tsunami. This will be:

"Napalm also sticks to kids!!!! Gung ho!"

Practise it now so you know how to shout it real good Emily. Cause we don't want to disapoint these lovely guys:


This will make our conection as siblings really thight and best of all: We can sell our story to Hollywood. "Emily and Ole, siblings of war" will be a good worktitle I think. Imagine, not only are we in for a great experience together, but we will also get filthy rich!

War is great! But to get all these advantages as siblings you have to tell the army that you want to serve with me Emily. So be quick and tell them today. This will be fun.


If this will be dangerous? Just relax it mom, if one is at the right side one becomes invincible. Just see:


At 3/23/2006 06:58:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ja jeg trenger aa ta av noen kilo, saa kanskje the army is the place, just the two of us ole, just the two us! 

Posted by Emily


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