Sunday, April 30, 2006

I'm finally cordless

While being out doing some shopping I bought myself a small treat. This is something I bought to my brother a long time ago and I have wanted one for myself for even longer. Since it was 200 NOK cheaper now than before I couldn't resist spending my hard earned money on it. This is what i bought:


hodetelef.

Exactly, a pair of cordless headphones. They are suposed to have a range of 100 meters. It is clearly something everyone should have. If you still wonder what kind of a use this thing has just imagine when you go out to get rid of your thrash or to check your mailbox. How many times have you not thought "Oh, I would enjoy listening to some music now. To bad I can't bring my headphones outside." I mean, now I finally can!

Probably many of you still thinks "Why oh why do you spend money on crap Ole?" But you are just problem-oriented and not solution-oriented. Think about the times you have been sitting on the toilet, playing music really loud to hear it and then have your neighbours at your door to asking you to turn the music down. You have to admit that it is never fun to open your door with your trousers on your knee.

I do not have that problem anymore:



Complete malapropo here is another candidate to date my sister. He is clearly a hillbilly on the golftrack:

senior3

Obviously he neither has all his cords attatched.


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Record me a message

I have found a new feature for all of you to use. I see that many of you does not enjoy to comment and I have asked why. The most normal excuse is: "Nah, I don't know what to write." Well from now on you don't have to write!


record

You can now, by clicking on the "Send me an odeo" thingy which you find in my sidebar, record a voicemessage. Here you can tell me how sexy my unibrown is or what a big dick I ha... am I mean. So go ahead and start recording today by clicking the thing either in my sidebar or here:

Send Me A Message

By the way here is another guy from my sisters host town in the US. Clearly his life consists mainly of plowing the field in the sunset. How romantic. You don't need to bring him home either.....

senior7


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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Fun with blonds on a Saturday night

As I said my sister, the one who is in the USofA claims that blond is better. I seriously doubt it as I now have done an investigation into the topic "blond" on the Net. This is what I found:


blondie7

Blonds are normaly looked upon as quite cute, though they may not always be the brightest among us, and normaly not. Their cuteness have clearly confused a lot of teachers around the world. They would all really pass these good looking creatures, but it have prooved impossible to get them through a normal exam. That is the reason why they have made tests only ment for blonds:

blondie8

But a person does not need to be hot even though she is blond:



But I would not recomend you to employ a blond to do any important work like taking care of the virus protection for the computers in the company. This might be the result:

blondie9

But you have to be aware of their ability for blonds to confuse your mind when you meet one. Even when their overwhelmingly drunk they might look atractive in a strange kind of way:



This does not make up for their way of thinking in any manner:





But it looks like blond girl like to proclaim that their haircolor is the best. Such it is today and so it was in the 80s:



Maybe it is because of their specially made examen tests:

blondie4

Not much have actually changed for the blonds since the 80s. Not even their working situation:



But whom is to be blamed for this? The managers or the blonds themselves?

blondie3

blondie2

blondie1

Good for them that these specially made tests where made in the first place. If not they would have struggeled their whole life.

blondie6

I mean you could put them on a stage and show them out for money. But some of them are not even up to that simple task:



Well well I can see now why my sister is a naturally misfit. But luckily she is now in the states and there there are plenty of guys who has a problem to even understand this one:

blondie5

Here my sister will have a chanse, even as a blond to meet someone below her mental state. One good candidate is this handsome young man going to the same school as my sister. He is maybe not mentaly retarded, but he clearly does his best to act like one at his senior pic:

senior8

But Emily, there is no need of bringing him home.

As an end for all of this I will showe you a clip of a stupid brunette. This is one of my favourite clips. Why? Becase I am an evil motherfucker:





Last funny friday


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A Bit Overdue?

I have just been out to do some shopping. Primarily I went to get some beer for tomorrwo night as the day after tomorrow is 1st of May. In Norway that's a day where you walch in the first of May parade, celebrate old idols like Mr. Lenin and Mr. Marx. Because of this nobody is suposed to work this day and therefore its an exelent oportunity to drink on the 30th of April.

I also went out to get my leather jacket fixed and do some ajustment on my late grandfathers old watch so I can use it:


clock

If you wonder why I wear the watch on my right arm it is because I am right handed and not left handed. To do anything else would be plain stupidity.

But doing all this I saw something funny. Some guy had clearly left his car without paying for the parking and he had not only recieved 1 ticket for this. No the nazi controllers had actually given him 7 of these nice notes. I bet all of them together are worth more than the car itself.

ticket1

ticket3

ticket2

The car is clearly from Lithuania, so I don't really see why the traffic inspectors even bother. But probably they recieve a small bonus per ticket given.


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Friday, April 28, 2006

I am an academic!

After 5 years of studying academia I finally got a chance to use it in a working situation. In other words, 5 years of lending money from the governmet to buy beer paid off. This is what happened:


buss

One of our benefits for working at the bus terminal is free busrides. Now the companies driving the buses have said that they will no longer let us enjoy this luxury. Yes they are cheap motherfuckers, but thats what happens when everyone want to gain as much money as possible rather than giving a service to the public. But this deal is a part of our contract at the terminal so the management had to give some kind of compensation. We recieved then a mail from our labour union representative that we had been offered 10000 nok (about 1500$) a year as compensation or we could have our own management pay the buscompany for our free rides. He asked us all to give our opinion on this.

Now one of these bus cards would cost 1810 NOK a month, but not everyone used it and of course someone would rather take the 10000 a year. After some discussion back and forth on this our chief sent us a mail were he said that it was silly stupid to have this discussion and that it was only the labour union who could negotiate these terms with the management. Furthermore the discussion did not follow the terms of the values in the company which are Rightness, Care, Structure and Responsibility (If you are a normal human being you will here say "WTF!?". They actually paid a guy a heck of a lot of money to give us these values, but that is not a funny story so I will not write it all out.)

He wrote further that these things would have to be considered on a meeting and then taken by the Labour Union to the management.

It was probably stupid of us to send all these mails also to the management, but normaly they are quite cool. But this mail I found hilarious. He says that we should not discuss these things, because it is not correct. Fuck off I say. I sat down and wrote a mail like this:

I don't believe it is your duty to tell us what we can and cannot discuss amongst ourself on mail. Take the carrot out of your ass and shut up.

-Ole


But I soon realised that such a mail would be badly taken. But then I got an idea. I got 5 years of academical research in my CV, why not use it. So this is what I sent to all my colleagues:

Clipboard01

Dear all.

I see that XXXX thinks this is a bit silly, but I do not. I want to remind you all of the mail we recieved from XXXXXXXXX regarding our buspasses:


Bla bla bla (Not important, he told us only to respond to the offer we had recieved).

This was further followed up by XXXXXXXXXX who told us all to follow this invitation and reply on our opinion. The management are also more than welcome to reply, I see no problem with that. But to propose that such a discussion on the Net is silly I find little constructive. Such a view is rather problem-oriented than solution-oriented. (I love those words, they have little meaning other than being quite hard to prove not correct.) And to refer to our companies basic values (those stupid words we paid a lot to get) in this matter I also find very incoherent. (Since nobody understand what is ment by these values nobody can claim this to be wrong either.)

The Net is a pretty new medium, but to use this to communicate opinions and have a room for debates is one of it's most important benefits. By this everyone in our company get a chance to partisipate on this discourse which now have been lifted into the public sphere in the company. This is a lot better than to discuss it on a meeting vere some cannot participate as our business is running 24/7. We could also have taken the choice of not including the management in this discussion, but as a sign of confidence (rather stupidity) we have chosen to have this discussion in the open. If it is needed we could also have a meeting on this topic, but by this everyone has now recieved a chance to give their opinion on the matter. As far as I know no one have been hurt as a consequence of this, neither will anyone get hurt in the future.

It must also be added that this discussion has so far been on what opinion the Labour Union should have on the matter, and not what the management or our business as a collective should feel.

Sincerely yours,

Ole


Most of this is of course bloody silly crap ment to make people think "I did not quite understand that. Then it must be smart." Probably they will think I am so smart that they will promote me and give me a grand payrise.

On the other hand they might fire me, and my bet goes for the last solution. But by God it was funny to send of such meaningless crap, just as they give to us. I can't wait to get their response!


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Mission failed!

I have told you before that every women want to be in my bed. I have to admit now that that is not completely true. From today on there is at least one lost soul out there. This is what happened:

I was sitting outside enjoying a hit of nicotine ocupying the only bench which exists outside my institute. As I sit there a blond girl comes over and sits down with me. My little sister has told me that "blond does better" and since I haven't tried blond for 5 years I thought of this to be a good chance to check out this theory. Now a problem turned up. I have not tried to hit on a girl for the last 4 years, so I had no idea what to do. My brain completely blacked out.


blond

Luckily for me this girl clearly was quite experienced in this business, so she starts talking to me. It comes up that I have actually met her once before. She had then requested me to look after her laptop while she went to do something. Since she had been gone for a long time I had asked someone else to take on to the task. But as she did not know about the effort I had done, she now complained to me that I had not done what I promised. But as the quite attractive guy I am I was soon forgiven. The rest of the conversation went like this:

Girl - So what do you take? (clearly a question which means "I find you highly attractive and sexy, and I very much want to talk to you or at least take a trip to your bed, but I have no idea what to say.)

Ole - Mainly I take marijuana, but if life is good I also like some extacy. If I have money my favourite drug is heroin though. But I also take coffe if that is your only offer.

I thought of this as a highly amusing remark. She did not as she now looked at me weird and stated: "No, I meant your studies." The fact that I later told her that I was a bit overdue with my master on terrorism and the media probably confirmed my statement on drugs as a fact and not as a joke. I believe it did nothing to help me on my mission.

The conversation continued:

Girl - So do you have anyone sponsoring your master thesis?

Now here it was my turn to raise my eyebrow. What the fuck is she talking about? First of all I see it as a bit strange to have someone sponsoring a master thesis. And who would sponsor a master on media and terrorism? The Organisation of Muslim International Revolutionaries? But as I said I wanted to check out a blond girl now, so I chosed to not make any remark on this. For christ sake I am not going to marry her! What I said was:

Ole - Well I get paid by the busterminal for watching buses, and I also sent an enquiery to Friele Coffee Company to support me. I told them I could write "This thesis was made on Friele Coffe" on my thesis, but they told me no as they only suport Brasilians. Not even when I wrote them and told them that I could act as a Brasilian did they want to help me out.

Girl (looking a bit conserned) - Ihavealecturenowbye.

And then she went away.

Now you have to see that all of this is quite close to the truth and I personaly found this story quite funny. She did not. I have never seen anyone disappear as quickly as she did.

blond2

Well one gone, but many more to put down. My mission will continue.


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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Norwegian state history

At my last entry I made a short remark on Americans and their perception of history. They have a great ability to rewrity history so it fits better. One example is what Soviet and the Red Army and their orchestra was doing under WWII. Americans have a gift for not including them when talking about the allies. But doing my studies I see that we Norwegians have some problems ourselves.

At the homepage of the National Archive they have a secion about the Romani people in Norway. During years these people was lobotomized and sterilized by Norwegian doctors and the Romani people still have a hard time being included. But this is what the National Archive has to say:


arkivverket

Norske myndigheter har siden slutten av 1800-tallet arbeidet aktivt overfor taterne (også kalt omstreifere, fanter, reisende, romanifolket og annet). Myndighetene hadde som målsetting å integrere taterne i det norske folk med fast bosted.

In english:

The Norwegian authorities have since the end of the 19th century worked actively concerning the taters (also called vagabonds, travelers, hippies, romanipeople etc.). The government had as a goal to integrate the romanis into the Norwegian society with permanent places to live.

Integration into the Norwegian society my ass! Rather up their nose I presume.

lobotomy


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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Am I a lunatic?

Recently, I had an interesting comment on one of my posts. Well I have had quite a few interesting comments, but for now we will focus on this specific one. The commenter wrote:

You're so twisted and you have so many mental issues.

Now actually this is quite an harsh statement, but is it wrong to proclaim so? Because lately I have begun to wonder. You see my sister and her husband went to Bulgaria during easter, and as bigger sisters are suposed to she bought me a gift. The gift probably says a lot about me. This is what I got:


Grenade2

Grenade1

Yes, you are quite correct. This is a small purse where I can keep my hard earned cash. And yes, it is shaped as an handgrenade. Now you all think "Is the sister of Ole a lunatic? Who would buy something like that?". Well I can tell you about one person who would buy something like that. Me. I was actually quite happy for this gift.

Of course I can never use it. Imagine going into the bank, draw up a portemone like that and say, in your most polite voice: "Can I change some money please?" I promise you, the anti terror squad blowing your head off will not be that polite. My sister would never have something like that in her house, but clearly she knows me to well.

Another incident happened not long ago as me and some friends where out having a joll. One of my friends stated: "It's quite weird. I know of none persons who are proclaiming to be a pacifist who has such an interest in the military as Ole." He benchmarked this statement by reassuring all the others that he had been in my apartment and seen some strange shit. I would say this is not so strange stuff actually. I mean his only reason for proclaiming so is that I have decorated my apartment just a tiny bit. This is what he refered to:

Military

I mean this is not unormal things to have is it? (If you wonder the nazi helmet is real. It was taken by my grandfather from a german which he had to strangle with his own bare hands. At least according to his own story.)

Another incident which even made me wonder more was with my ex-girlfriend. I was lying in bed and I had just finished an exam on propaganda posters during WWII. I wanted to read a bit before sleep so I picked up the book "History of a German" by Sebastian Haffner. My ex stated loud and clearly "Oh! Are you never getting tired of that shit!" I did not get laid that night for sure, and probably my affection for history on war was contributing to the stop in our relationship. So maybe I am a lunatic?

But all this made me remember an incident way back in time, and this is the real story which I was going to tell you. Back then I did not find it amusing, but now it is quite funny, though it says a lot about my mentality.

This happened like 14 years ago. At that time I was 11-12 years old. And I promise you I was looking quite different back then. Now I am looking quite cool. I mean, nowadays, every man want to be in my shoes and every woman wants to be in my bed. It's quite exhausting being me somethimes.

mready

Anyhow, when I was 11-12 I was not that cool. I was on the other hand an innocent looking kid. The smallest one ever and with the longest blond hair any boy have ever had. It was, for some people who should have gone to an eye doctor, quite hard to tell the difference between me and girls at my age. One time I was even thrown out of the boys changing room by the caretaker at the gym. I cut my hair shortly after. To help on your imagination here is a pic of me taken at that time:

meyoung.0

At this time we where suposed to do an assignment at school, and this is the point where my insanity came alive I guess. We where not suposed to do any retarded assignment like math or grammar. No, we where told: You can write on any topic you want to.

That is just like a master without all the boring method and theory and about 115 pages shorter. I went into the task like it was my christmas gift. This was before the Internet so I had to go to the library to get my information. I promise you, the people working ther started to look weird at me after I had been there for the sixht time in a week. In the beginning they probably though I was loaning some books for my father, but in the end their eyes got a bit sceptical, and I believe one of them was about to call the child care service. What I loaned? Wait a bit, I will get to that in a second.

Anyhow I wrote my report, a quite good one I would say, and the day we where going to hand it in the whole class was sitting in a circle. The teacher, one of them nice one which all the girls thinks are their "favourite teacher ever". I though she was quite ok. She was also good looking if I remember correctly, but my memory at that point might be confused by my pre-pubertal mind a couple of years later. Anyhow she tells us that she wants us all to read a bit from our report for the rest of the class to enjoy.

I was so happy about this. Finally someone would have to listen to the fantastic work I had done. But first I had to listen to a lot of boring stuff. And I mean BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING. Any normal kid at that age would pick a topic like "Dogs which I like", "My favourite football team", "Horseriding", "My beat friend" and other armbreaking topics. Armbreaking because one would fall asleep, fall of the chair and break an arm before you could read one sentence of that stuff. Think about the poor teachers going through such stuff written by hand by a twelve year old kid. They all need a pay raise I would say. And of course my class mates were mostly normal.

But then it is finally my turn and I am so exited as I have finally found the passage which I will read. Now I bet all of you are waiting to hear about my topic. It was:

Nacht und Nebel Prisoners

Now I suppose that all of you know what Nacht und Nebel (NN) prisoners was. For all of you who have a lack of history I can tell you that this were prisoners, mainly from the resistance, which the Germans had to get rid of without anyone knowing. This ment that they where all sent in secrecy to a consentration camp where they were suposed to die (yes short story dad, I know). Talking about history, I can tell my American readers that the Soviet Union was on the allied side during WWII, but Americans and their understanding of history deserves a post for themeselves so no more of that for now.

Now you can imagine, I am sitting there in this circle with my class. I am twelve years old, got long blond hair and I am nearly tripping of exitement. Finally I got the attention of the whole class, at least from the ones who are still awake, and my teacher says, with her sweet voice: "Your turn Ole, read us a bit from your work." This is what followed: Ole, bright with exitement, takes up his paper and starts of, with a strong childish voice:

"One of the most normal methods the Germans used against their prisoners was to hang them up from the ceiling. Usualy with a rope attatched to each arm which both were bent backwards. As you hang there you would slowly feel your muscels tear apart and your shoulder would eventually get ripped loose from the rest of the body. Meanwhile gestapo agents would tear out your tonail, slowly, with blood pouring down on the floor, until you faint of exhaustion. As you wake up by a bucket with ice cold water getting thrown at you, washing some of the blood away from your body, you would slowly get to your sences. The read vision in front of your eyes would slowly open and the gestapo agent would look at you with a grin on his face before he beat you up with his baton. The ones who survived this treatment would be caried away to their cell as a slack hot dog with a bit to muck ketchup on. (That last description I actually stole from one of the books I had read, but don't tell my teacher.) Here they would wait in agony before the gestapo once again came to get them"

torture

After this the classroom went quite silent. The ones who had been drifting away in their own mind before I started were now quite awake. All the girls in my class looked strucked by lightning, one guy said "Hehe hehe, thats cool." My teacher was gone green in her face, but she managed, after a while, to say: "That was.....eh....interesting. But does it have to be that gory?" As I saw it as my mission to educate all such stupid people I told her that that was how it was, and if it the history was gory it was nothing to do with it. You cannot change history, daaaa.

I did not get the aplause I had expected and this class was shortly after called off. I believe my teacher never read my work as she was quite happy to go through the works on "My favourite vacation place". So that was the end of my effort to enlighten my classmates.

I guess this proves I am a bit of a lunatic. But at least I have been one my whole life, and so far I have done quite well, therefore I guess there is no reason to change the twisted parts of my mind yet.

As a finish, while some of you go to the bathroom to throw up, I have some soon-you-come-home gifts for my little sister (and now for something completely different. The Larch!) Here are some videos for you to enjoy while you wave goodbye to the South Dakotan society:





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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Ole finds magazine at work, hilarity ensues

Yesterday at work I was on duty as assistant traffic controller. This might sound like an important work, but I promise you there is not much to do. The maint part of this work is to open the toilets when the lock jams and open the luggage lockers when people are to stupid to get them up.

Anyhow I am in the traffic controller room trying not to go more mental than I allready am. As I am jumping up and down while singing in an effort to make my co-worker go mental I see a magazine lying on a shelf. I pick it up and as I see the cover I toss it over to my colleague and proclaims "Here is something for you to read". She clearly thinks its a girl magazine about trenda and makeup and opens it up without looking at the cover which was this:


lek

Last time I looked into a porn magazine was 12 years ago when me and my friends found one. Times has clearly changed. The good old black thing which used to fill most of the pictures is now gone. My colleague found this highly amusing and had a great laugh of headlines like "Tonya Thight likes them BIG". She flips the pages for a while, but she is clearly nervous every time a bus passes by. She did not want to get caught with a porn magazine in her hands.

Suddenly the door bursts open, my co-worker gets a shock and tosses the magazine under her desk. The guy who washes the terminal comes in to leave his keys. We both act like the least thing we had done was to flip through a magazine filled with pictures of women spreading their legs.

The washing guy lay the keys down and with a confused look he says "Where is magazine?" My colleague don't quite get it and says "Your medicine?" "No, magazine, I had a magazine lying here, but now its gone..."

I promise you, I have never seen a face with more resemblance to a red traffick light as my co-worker bends down and hands him the magazine. He, on his side, stated that it belonged to a friend of his who had forgotten it, but he also asked her if she would keep it. I am meanwhile lying double bent on the floor laughing my ass off.

Greatest thing to happen at work in ages.

By the way talking about mediated porn you should check out this highly interesting coverage of a serial killer at Fox News, featured by The Daily Show:



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Friday, April 21, 2006

Funny Friday

It's once again Friday! My o my has this week gone fast. I worked night shift last night, and I slept only a couple of hours before going to work again. But I will do my best to give you some fun.

Since it is Friday many of you will go out to celebrate. Why? Because tomorrow is saturday of course. But one guy who celebrated a bit to early is this one:




He could probably have learnt a thing or two from this dalmatian:



This guy was also a bit to cocky I presume:



The lesson to be learnt from this? Never celebrate on a Thursday. Exept if you are a student of course.

But these bicycle people really impress me sometimes. Clearly they are one-of-a-kind dickheads who thinks life exists of walking on pedals and to reach some finish line first no matter how hard. But clearly they can't fight like real men:



But their public is not the most exeptional either:



I bet their public exists mainly of people like the ones portrayed below. I hav no idea why they do this, and I would not recomend you to do it at home, school, your work place or anywhere else. When you got the idea please feel free to skip the rest of the video. Actually I feel obliged to tell you that this is a video of a guy trying to break a CD with his forehead. How? By having another guy step hard on the back of his head. Imagine the worst scene from "American History X", but this time for real.

I will, after considering it, not embed it, but if you want to watch it click here. ANother stupid act of the same guys? Click here. These guys one can only find in America I presume... Hey don't blame me, I warned you. Ok let's rather see some kids going "jackass":



So much fine cultural things one can find at the Internet today.

If you have to much money in your hands, but still are an idiot, you might consider to buy some of this stuff. How about a six part toaster for example to spice up your kitchen:

whoa_taste

That was it for today because I have to do some serious studying. But please, no matter what you do this weekend, don't dance like this guy:






Last funny friday


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Time for some insultment

On this blog so far I have tried to insult everyone and everything from politicians on the left and right, fascists, women in general, my sister a couple of times, Asians, Italians, Americans and their political preferences, celebrities and many many more.

The last ones out to get hit by Smoking Kills (and it looks hilarious @omir.org) and my nervebreaking insults was people who like techno music and my friend whom I tried to reveal as classical nerds. What happpened? Nobody cared, at least not much. On my last 3 posts I have recieved 2 comments all together and one of them was from me. Clearly its time to dig deep in the area of insultments.

First of all I thought of insulting my mom. Her favourite man, except my father, me and Mao is this guy:


freud

Who would ever go through their happy students day profiling this guy as their sexual idol? Yes my mom is a shrink, but clearly not among the most down to earth people on earth. But then again, my mom is not easy to insult, and she probably wouldn't care enough to comment.

I could also make fun of my father who is well known to be a pimp in the states after my sister got tired of explaining his real work.

pimp

But even pasting his face into some weird pics would probably not give the comments i am hoping for.

I could also make some hilarious comments on people who have lived the last few years in some Norwegian hillbilly village and finally decided to move out in the great big world. And then after considering all the possibilities like New York, Paris, London, Hong Kong and other great places decides to go to leeds.

leeds

I wouldn't even consider sending my worst enemy to this place where the rain is pooring down and a walk to town is like a trip to the zoo. But that would probably neither give any great comments.

I could also make some stuff up on people who are finally going to finish their bachelor degree, and what are their ambition? To work in a café for the next 6 months. Not exactly a job which requires 3-4 years of education.

cafe

Or I could make fun of guys who start to drink at the age of 27, people who thinks the man of their life comes from Moss (hilarious thought that real men comes from Moss), people who takes a degree in Reactor Operating and goes on to use this intelligence in the navy, or people who believes that smoking is unhealthy. Heck I could even insult myself in several different ways and nobody would comment on it.

But there is one thing that for sure will get some rage going and give me several hate mails. So therefore, the ultimate insult-to-get-comments for you all:

Sprint Jeløy soccer team sucks big time. What they do is not to play football but to fool around like babies making their first steps. I bet you they would even loose against the Taiwanese volleyball team on a football field. This team is made up by loosers who never made it out in the real world, and who still lives at home with their parents. The thought of these guys ever winning a soccer game is against reality. They stink as much as the city from which they come from. And their song is even worse. I don't even want to translate this shit:

Det bor en klubb der utpå øya,
There is a club out there on the island
der er det karer som kan sine ting.
there are guys who know their stuff (sic!)
Når bare dem blir varm i trøya,
If they just get some heat in their shirts (skirts?)
da kan dem lage mange store ting.
they can make a lot of great things (like making a snowman I guess)
Ja, vi skal alltid holde sammen,
Yes we will always keep together (don't take me away from mom)
selv om litt motgang møtes på vår vei.
even if we meet a little resistance on our way (little is clearly an understatement)
Da skal vi synge både du og jeg:
Then we can sing both you and I: (oh no, please, enough!)
At Sprint er klubben som har vaska seg!
Sprint is the clubb who has washed themselves (by the smell I doubt it...)

Horrible, horrible song. If one can sing this song without puking one would probably have to be a no-brainer like the players who actually is in the team.

bilde

sprintsmå
The best team Sprint-Jeløy had this year

Now I can lean back and just wait for the comments to pour in.


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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Where have all the studenst gone?

I am number 1! I am the first student to arrive today, that has not happened in a long time. Last time was when I arrived directly from a night shift and was supposed to have seminar lectures. I tried to catch some sleep before this lecture then, but the freaking washing guy disturbed me so these lectures ended up being kind of confusing. But today I am wide awake and all alone.


earlystudy

I even had to turn on the lights. Yes if you want to you may call me God cause today I got the power! And redy to take upon some serious studying.



Actually I have done some mathematics and I have to produce 3.3333333 pages per day to have a first draft of my master thesis ready for the middle of may. As you have seen this kind of pressures is not good for my blog as I can no longer produce as many posts as I would like to. This is of course not for your benefit as you need me to make your day better. Because of this I challenge you all to help me out.

My task for today is to write something highly informative and geniously on the power of the word. To do this I want to combine Claude Lévi-Strauss, Pierre Bourdieu and George Orwell. I want to combine the mythos and the structure of language with the symbolic power to show how this might be used to create newspeach and as such used to manage the public sphere and get some good old thoughtcontrol.

Now of course I could sit down and read some books, but that would be highly egoistic and not for your benefit. And of course all the readers of this blog are highly educated people on the top of the cultural axis and maybe also on the economic. So if you want more updates please send me your knowledge and thought on the subject. Do not hesitate, but go ahead and make my day. Meanwhile I will enjoy a cup of coffein and a hit of nicotine.

question


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Sunday, April 16, 2006

Talking above my head

I am so fascinated by peoples interests and knowledge sometimes. I have some friends whom every time they come over to my place discuss some weird topic. And normally it's a topic which I have none knowledge about. Usually I end up drinking and singing for myself. Of course this never goes well. Is it weird that my friends think I am a drunk?

Last time my friends came over they were discussing speaker systems. For me I am quite happy as long as I have this:


høyt

But they where discussing how many Omh (or wathever it is called) there is in a speaker with 70 cubichectar and two defilibrators with a slow mounted stickerwire. They claimed that two disconectors would get 4 Omh while 8 Omhs would give higher density. I had, in other words, no idea what they where talking about. They even turned on the computer to check out stuff like this:

speaker_diagram

I tried to explain them that a 70 cubikmeter apartment with 8 rooms would give lower density than a 40 cubicmeter with only 3 rooms. They laughed of me.

This actually happens to me quite often. Another time two friends of me where discussing time travel in theory vs. practise. I actually learnt that if you bend time in a parabel you can always go back to the starting point, where time will remain the same. Also gravity will interact with time at some small level. This is all very interesting, but I could not contribute much to the discussion.

timetravel

Now I know that some things I am not supposed to have much knowledge upon. Like cars, sports, makeup, the implication of fusion between water and gasoline or how to make superglue. I know enough to survive in these fields. But one of my friends favourite topics are computer science. This always puts me off, cause I like to pretend to know much about computers. But when they start to talk about the terrabyte line based in MS DOS they use at NASA I always loose track of the conversation.

They also like to talk about the latest graphic card which they have seen. Suposedly it runs with dual ex-flixhead components with a ronsted line and tricker cooling system which one can maneuver through the alfa Linux system and triple the speed by bending the efilus charge. I always try to get into these discussions, but normaly I end up drunk again and singing for myself.

This I can understand:

computer

not this:

computertheo

But last night I had an incredible experience. Someone was finally talking about stuff I know. The conversation went someting like this:

Guy1 - 4-4-2 is really hard to pull off.

Guy2 - No no no, 4-4-2 is easier than a 3-3-4 and much better.

Ole - 4-4-2 is not that hard. A 3-3-4 would mess up the rythm I believe.

Guy2 - But the 3-3-4 would make a better float I believe.

Ole - But compared to Mills Mess its slightly the same, exept one have to go over instead of under and the site swap between left and right have to be made quicker.

Guy1 - Mills Mess? Where does he come into the game? One should try not to swap too much I think as the game would be harder to pull off if you ask me.

Ole - Mills Mess is close to a 4-4-2 if you ask me and without swapping there wouldn't be much trick left. You know Mills Mess, inspiered by Steve Mills. But if you would like less site swapping then a 2-2-4 would do the trick, I mean that is just Boston Mills.

Guy2 - 2-2-4? You can't play with 2-2-4 then you would lack like 2 players on the field. Boston Mess, Mills Mess and Steve Mess are brothers I presume?

Ole - Players? Brothers? WTF are you two talking about?

Guy1 and Guy2 - Football! What the hell are you talking about?

Ole - Juggling of course!


Well well, I was a bit of the track there. But for once I thought someone had the same strange interests as me, but no. That would probably go against reality. But I guess I also got some strange topics to discuss which noone else understands. I can probably discuss these with myself while singing and being drunk.

This is perfectly understandable. Isn't it?

jugglingmath


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Technoheads

Last night I was at a party. Well I maybe shouldn't call it a party, but a gathering of 10 people where noone knew anyone. It was quite fun, especially as the gin kicked in. The friend I went with had promised me that coke was excellent to mix with gin. I did not believe him and I promise you. Gin and coke is not a good mix (And yes mom, I went home with the last metro).


gin&coke

The guy who had the place had just moved in and the only device he had to play music on was a small radio. I don't listen to often to radio on Saturday nights, but clearly there is not much to listen to. The girl who was sitting closest to the radio found a station which she thought was so cool. It was a station playing techno non-stop.

Now clearly techno is not my favourite music. The people who enjoy techno is neither my favourite human beings. I mean look at them:

techno

techno2

techno3

techno4

Obviously we are not talking about the brigthest people on earth. Now I actually do have some friends who enjoy techno, but i try not to see them so often.

I told this girl (she was actually dressed as some kind of an angel) that I thought her taste of music sucked, and that if not the gin and coke mix would do the trick, then her "we-got-no-taste-or-brain" music would probably make me puke.

She did not find this very amusing, but told me rather how she had learnt to appreciate this music while she was in Germany. She also told me how she had learnt to appreciate other stuff while being there. This did not surprise me much.

I asked her then, ignorant as I am, if techno music is huge in Germany. She started to tell me about "Loveparade", the big techno parade which millions of no-brainers attend every year in Berlin. I have actually been to this parade myself, accidentaly, and it was quite fun, but I did not tell her that. I rather asked why she thought the Germans enjoyed techno music that much. She claimed it to be because the Germans was so cool humans. I had another view on the topic, and I explained it to her.

I told her that probably the rythm of the techno music is quite close to march music and if you listen closely there is not that huge a difference between "Horst Wessel Lied" and the music played by DJ Rasgunyado, and I am not only saying this to insult Mr. Wessel.

As we all know Germans are traditionally quite fond of such music.

technohei2

hitlerspeak

The girl did not find this remark funny. Actually she got pretty offended. But hey, if she can't take a joke, she should not blame me. Probably her choise of music and taste of other stimuli, together with her 4 years in Krauterland, has messed up her sense of humor. If she ever had one (her father worked for the military so I actually doubt it).

I always find it quite scary when there are huge groups of Germans getting together. Shouldn't ther be a law against that?

technoheil4

nazi-parade-2

massetechno

nazi-parade-4

If you ask me there should also be a law against techno music. I can't wait to become dictator.


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