Thursday, April 06, 2006

Cow tipping a farmermyth?

The other day I told you how much fun it would be to collect all the clones of Erna Solberg and enjoy some traditional Erna-tipping. Now Mr. Triggerhappy commented and claimed that cow-tipping, the game which Erna-tipping is based upon, is just what he calls a "farmermyth". This is what he wrote:

No Cow Tipping

At 4/03/2006 05:14:21 PM,
I`ve actually heard that cow-tipping is a farmermyth (the opposite of an urbanmyth...). Do you know if this is true Omir? Because the guy who told me this (a well-educated man who has worked on a farm, he studied biology), said that cows don`t sleep standing up! And they also wake up very easily when they are asleep, and therefore it would be difficult to tip them over (especially since they are lying on the ground when they sleep). I wonder what the truth is... what would happen to the world if this is a farmermyth? Would it be the first farmermyth ever?

Posted by Mr. Triggerhappy

This lead up to a great debate where Mr. Rupi claimed that Mr. Triggerhappy was a cow sodomiser. Of course I am a man who understands my mission in life, to inform the society, to get an answer to the important questions in life and to create peace. So I sent a mail to the experts on the area of cow tipping, the Norwegian University of Life Sciences, formerly known as the farmer school.

The interesting thing about their namechange is that they haven't changed their school, you will still learn how to be a farmer here. The only new thing is their name. Imagine the foreign students aplying and getting accepted. Then their run home to tell their family: "Mom! Mom! I have been accepted to study at the Norwegian University of Life Sciences!" "Great my son! For sure this will give you an education so you can get that job in the UN you have always wanted!" And then when they arrive at the school the first thing that will meet them is a guy in an overall saying "In todays lesson you will learn to drive a tractor." The foreign students will for sure be happy.


Anyway this is what I wrote to them:

Dear Sir/Madam

My name is John tender and I have a question for you.

I have lived in Norway for about two months now and I am studying as an exchange student at the University of Oslo. Now I have encountered a problem which is so allconsuming that I cannot concentrate on my studies.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a party with some friends. I meet a really cute girl at this party and she told me of this fascinating sport which they excersise in her hometown.

She told me that once in a while they go out during the night to a field close to her. On this field there are about 10 medium sized cows, and while the cows are sleeping this girl and her friends use to give them a gentle push so they fall over. She said this is quite possible since the cows are sleeping while they are standing up. She also claimed this to be great fun.

The girl promised me that she would take me out "cow-tipping" one day, and because of this I made out with her. She was cute, but you see I allready have a girlfriend which I love very much. But the excitement of getting a chance to go "cow-tipping" made my hormones go overflowing, and my girlfriend will of course understand this.

Now, I told this story to a friend of mine and he claims this "cow-tipping" sport to be, what he, in his exact words, calls a "farmermyth". He says that cows are not sleeping while they stand up and also that it is nearly impossible to turn a cow over.

My question now, which I hope you, with your expertice on the are can answer, is if this is true? Is "cow-tippin" only a "farmermyth"?

It would be relly bad if it showed up that I betrayed my girlfriend only because of such a myth. That would be devastating actually. So please tell me that "cow-tipping" is for real and that it is so much fun as this girl proclaimed.

If not would you please also warn me about other such "farmermyths" in case this girl is just making a fool of me. I would apreciate a quick answer since I have a date with her tomorrow.

Sincerely yours,

John Tender

The reply was actually more han I was hoping for, and it proves out that both Mr. Triggerhappy (who claims he has not said anything about sodomising cows) and Wikipedia are wrong. Also it seems that the Norwegian University of Life Sciences do know something about life after all and not just farming:



I don't think it is the cowtipping that is diverting you from your studies. And we are not engaged in matters of lust here at the
University, but that seems to be the thing that is troubling you the most.

It is possible to tipp a cow over in its sleep, but I would strongly discourage you from engaging in such activities. The cow might be seriously injured, and it is a very cruel thing to do to an animal. Whether his is a very widespread acitivity is very doubtfull, but of course there can be the odd case.

Good luck with your studies in Norway.

Gxx Exxxx

P.S. In the case of your girlfriend back home, I don't think she will be that forgiving. I know I wouldn't.

There you go Mr. Triggerhappy. Cow tipping is not just a farmermyth after all. If you want to try it out for yourself click here, here, here, here or here.

But one thing in this last mail trigged me a bit, and that was not just that they have a sense of humor at the University of Tractordriving. The person claims that the Norwegian University of Life Sciences don't normally don't engage in matters of lust. But I was wondering if this was all true and if they also maybe are even concerned of not only lust but also ethics if one just mix in a cow or two. I sent them one more mail just to check. But clearly it was way beyond their league cause I never got a reply to this one.

Hi Gxx!

Thanks for your answer!

But now I am twice as confused, and still have problems to concentrate on my studies.

Do you not believe that cow-tipping would be an activity which may forgive any intimate activity with other girls than your girlfriend? I guess not, but then I would like your advice on a certain matter:

Do you think such an activity (both the the cow tipping and the intimacy part) are dangerous to me as a person? And in so case which one is most dangerous to me, the possibility that the cow might fall upon me or the reaction from my girlfriend?

You also say that the cow might be injured. Do you have any estimate on how many cows that are injured by this sport a year in Norway? Would it help if I put a matress under it? What is actually the best tactic in cow-tipping which will do less harm to both me and the cow?

Also I have an ethical dilemma. My friend wanted to make a bet if it is possible to do cow-tipping. Now I told him that I had to think about his offer. Now I got your reply and know that I am the winner. Will it then be ethical of me to make this bet with him? He said he would give me his grandfathers old watch if I was correct. I would have to give him a trip to Italy. This watch is really nice, but I presume it would be wrong of me to do this to him. What do you think?

Thank you so much!

Sincerely yours,

John Tender

Ps. Would it be best not to tell my girlfriend about this cow-tipping tradition you got here in Norway?

Thank you for choosing Smoking Kills (and it looks hilarious as your number 1 public service provider!


At 4/06/2006 01:54:00 PM , Anonymous Bob Baryton said...

Yo Omir, did you know that you are named after a photocopier?

At 4/06/2006 02:42:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Photocopier or revolutionary islamic organisation ... Hard to se the difference sometimes. Everybody wants to use my name for their own benefit.

But what has this to do with my lust or cow-tipping? You think phootocopier-tipping will satisfy my lusts? 

Posted by ole

At 4/06/2006 04:15:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heloooooooooooo here in SD cow tipping is what we do , we drive out in our John Deer and tipp tipp the cow, they even have a cheer for it, 2 bad people often are too drunk to get out to the jhon deer, so the cow tipping is kindof still a myth here. 

Posted by Emily

At 4/06/2006 07:53:00 PM , Blogger jedimacfan said...

How about tipping over Islamic revolutionaries? Or Islamic photocopiers?

At 4/11/2006 11:04:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must say Omir, you`re not a really good academic, are you? In her answer (I`m guessing it`s a female...) she says that it`s POSSIBLE to tip a cow over it it`s sleep, NOT that it actually has been done & is a "common" thing, which is what I was wondering about. You should not be taking this ladys answer "for good fish" (as we say in Norway). I`ve been checking The Mighty Net, and there is a great discussion out there about cow-tipping, a very scientficial one as well. The claims that cow-tipping is a farmermyth are much stronger than the claims that this is a "normal" activity for boozed-up college jocks (which are the only ones on the net claiming this is "cool", eventhough there are other people claiming it is POSSIBLE). Due to a troublesome startpage at the place I`m currently connected, I can not give you any links to these pages right now. But Google the word "cow-tipping" and a new world will open up. Maybe you should send this information to your informant at this fake University?

Yours truly  

Posted by Mr. Triggerhappy

At 4/12/2006 12:07:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

One last thing about cow-tipping as a farmermyth (hmmm, can`t promise you this is the last one): The real clincher of course is that when it comes to actual physical or photographical evidence of cow tipping being performed, there is none. No one has video footage of a cow being tipped. Nor is there even photographical. Even the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot have (faked) photographs of them. So when math and zoology state (I will send you these links as soon as possible) cow tipping is impossible, and those still claiming that it is possible only have third or fourth hand stories as their aspect of credibility, there's little chance of cow tipping ever being debunked as a non Farmer Myth any time soon. So there you go, Omir!

Yours sincerly

Posted by Mr. Triggerhappy


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