Monday, April 10, 2006

Research for the common good

As I have told you, me and some of my co-students went of to Denmark on a cruise together with some other fellas, 7 smart guys in all. The goal of this trip was to study the interaction between Norwegians when crammed together on a boat while listening to horrible music. This is what we experienced:


We met up for some strategic thinking on the exelent pub "The Old Bank" also known as "Last stop before Denmark". At this place we enjoyed a cup of tea and some biscuites while we planned our trip. We where mostly concerned on which kind of method we should choose. In the end we voted for interaction, and by that the tea was changed out. As you can see by Mr. Ø and his face of stone this was serious business:


Mr. M was more relaxed, but on the other hand he was not selfproclaimed researchleader:

Mr. M

As we arrived for the boat we where clearly not their normal kind of visitors. The first thing that happened was that a security person took us out of the line and told us, in a striclt tone that: "There is no fun in the cabin after 11 pm." Clearly he thought we would stay in the cabin all night. But that would be hilarious as we would loose the whole opportunity to do our research. We discussed the meaning of this hilarious saying among us for a while, and we understood that this person thought we would have problem to get together with the other passangers. Clearly he had a fantasy of us making fun of them in the cabin. This was a hilarious fantasy, we would never do that. Mr. T told him so and added that there would be no problem since "we are a group og highly educated gentlemens."

Because of this we won the right to be checked for bombs by the security guys colleauges. The fact that we are Alphamales while they are Delta did not seem to amuse them. All this was highly stigmatising, and not because we are all white men from the upper class of society.

As a revenge Mr. T had lots of fun in the cabin as soon as the clock was 11:01 pm:


Actually at 11:02 pm we all had quite fun:


But of course this would not make a huge benefit to the academical world if we were going to enjoy ourself at the cabin so Mr. T took command and told us it was time to rock the boat:

Now on this boat you are not allowed to throw money down the toilet, this fact I understood too late. But you might waste them on so many other interesting things.


If you want to, you might throw your cash away on things they claim to be food, but one of the most popular past times are machines which blinks and makes funny noises. Mr. T and Mr. Ø actually managed to cash out 85 NOK from one of this hypnoticing machines and got the attention from the whole boat with their cheering.


They soon lost it all again, both the money and the attention.

Another fantastic thing on this boat is the possibility to smoke inside. The fascistic healthlaws has still not managed to overtake this heaven for smokers:



Mrø smoking

But still we understood that we would soon have to really interact with our objects of study. We saw this as necessary for our research, but the difference between us and the objects was clearly humongus:

First I tried to get into a conversation with a female which I thought maybe was a Beta. Clearly the interaction method had taken its effect since it showed up that she wasn't even close to being a beta female. She claimed she was a "glamour model". I had quite a problem to understand the concept of this, and she did not understand me either. Because of this she left after 20 seconds. I actually had to force her to stay long enough for Mr. M to make a proof on how hard we were studiyng:


Mr. E on the other hand got some good research going. He met Einar from Hamar and his beautiful Ida who had been together for two weeks and had gone on the Loveboat to celebrate:


Mr. E got such a good connection with them that they exchanges cellphone numbers. Later in the evening this message was recieved:

"Hi this is Einar from Hamar. Would you like to come to my cabin for a beer? Cheers from Einar from Hamar. Einar from Hamar cabin 6123"

Clearly a well done interaction. But before that it was time for the chickendance:

After this the whole night became rather blurry for my part but I do remember these memorable quotes:

- This roulettetable is nothing compared with the ones they got in L.A.

- Normal girls are just like hookers only that you don't have to pay.

- Look, if we just turn the sign around smoking will be allowed.

- Just hold it a second, I will go, but I want to see that he is alive.

- You want to see a picture of my daughter?

- There is nothing more horny than a guy with a hangover

The research must have been quite sucsessful since Mr. M actually had been threathened with a night in the drunken arrest for hanging around in the hallway. The other Mr. M had ran away the minute before as he saw a security guy advancing and he had a sigarette in his hand. Before the security guy left he had said: "Someone has been smoking. I will get him." Clearly a one of a kind Metamale and not a bright guy like us.


Next day we woke up to this message on the speakers:

"The boat is now leaving from Denmark, please listen carefully to to safety instructions!"

Mr. T got pissed of by this. We didn't even have fun, but still they had to bug us.


Meanwhile I found the following sms conversation on my mobile:

- Hi Ida you are incredible beautiful. Do you want to meet me?

- Hi, who are you?

- I am John Tender, the prince of your dreams, the person thou shalt marry. Do you love me?

- Yes of course I love you!

- You and me baby, you and me!

Clearly some mom from hell hadn't just showed me her daughters picture, but also her phone number. Not the smartest thing to do when you talk to an academic on a mission.

At breakfast time none of us where having much fun.


But still we had 5 hours until we where safely home. So the interaction had to continue.


We left the boat with a feeling that our mission was not a complete sucsess. We believed the academical research had been acomplished as well as it could. But still we had to leave a note for the commander of the boat on things that could have been better:


- Bad: There should have been ties for sale at the tax free.
- The prize level was too high compared to the quality (Forza).

- The pillow fell down from the upper bed.

- There where too few places where one could smoke.

- 41 NOK for a beer is robbery!

- To much info/talking in the morning. Wanted to sleep!

- The disco was closed. Why?

- Very stigmatizing to be talked to by the security boss before even entering the ship. We are a gathering of highly educated gentlemens who where on a coseytrip. Not nice!

But on the same time we could never have the possibility to fully interact with our co-travellers. And we are actually quite happy for that.

All in all a well done research, but if anyone got a conclusion please contribute.


At 4/10/2006 03:01:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I thought I had everything I could ever hope for in life, I read your blog. I want to know where I can get my own vacuum toilet! 

Posted by jedimacfan

At 4/10/2006 03:02:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just when I thought I had everything I could ever hope for in life, I read your blog. I want to know where I can get my own vacuum toilet! 

Posted by jedimacfan

At 4/11/2006 11:18:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Einar from Hamar was actually bi-sexual, the same as his cute girlfriend Ida. He wondered if Mr. E and myself wanted to "take an early night...". I think you all know what the ... stands for. But he was a really great guy! Einar from Hamar told us a lot of great stories, which I think will come in handy in our further research. I`ve actually won two (2!) new FREE trips with this great boat! I won the first trip when I got a strike on Bøljebowling (wavebowling). The second trip is a special trip on April the 21, which is a trip ONLY for the people who are getting the newsletter from Stena Line. I think that trip will give us a lot of good material for our research of "the less lucky ones"! (Which of course is a nickname that they will never know we`re calling them; we are a group of highly educated gentlemens!). Happy sailing! 

Posted by Mr. T


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