Friday, April 21, 2006

Time for some insultment

On this blog so far I have tried to insult everyone and everything from politicians on the left and right, fascists, women in general, my sister a couple of times, Asians, Italians, Americans and their political preferences, celebrities and many many more.

The last ones out to get hit by Smoking Kills (and it looks hilarious and my nervebreaking insults was people who like techno music and my friend whom I tried to reveal as classical nerds. What happpened? Nobody cared, at least not much. On my last 3 posts I have recieved 2 comments all together and one of them was from me. Clearly its time to dig deep in the area of insultments.

First of all I thought of insulting my mom. Her favourite man, except my father, me and Mao is this guy:


Who would ever go through their happy students day profiling this guy as their sexual idol? Yes my mom is a shrink, but clearly not among the most down to earth people on earth. But then again, my mom is not easy to insult, and she probably wouldn't care enough to comment.

I could also make fun of my father who is well known to be a pimp in the states after my sister got tired of explaining his real work.


But even pasting his face into some weird pics would probably not give the comments i am hoping for.

I could also make some hilarious comments on people who have lived the last few years in some Norwegian hillbilly village and finally decided to move out in the great big world. And then after considering all the possibilities like New York, Paris, London, Hong Kong and other great places decides to go to leeds.


I wouldn't even consider sending my worst enemy to this place where the rain is pooring down and a walk to town is like a trip to the zoo. But that would probably neither give any great comments.

I could also make some stuff up on people who are finally going to finish their bachelor degree, and what are their ambition? To work in a café for the next 6 months. Not exactly a job which requires 3-4 years of education.


Or I could make fun of guys who start to drink at the age of 27, people who thinks the man of their life comes from Moss (hilarious thought that real men comes from Moss), people who takes a degree in Reactor Operating and goes on to use this intelligence in the navy, or people who believes that smoking is unhealthy. Heck I could even insult myself in several different ways and nobody would comment on it.

But there is one thing that for sure will get some rage going and give me several hate mails. So therefore, the ultimate insult-to-get-comments for you all:

Sprint Jeløy soccer team sucks big time. What they do is not to play football but to fool around like babies making their first steps. I bet you they would even loose against the Taiwanese volleyball team on a football field. This team is made up by loosers who never made it out in the real world, and who still lives at home with their parents. The thought of these guys ever winning a soccer game is against reality. They stink as much as the city from which they come from. And their song is even worse. I don't even want to translate this shit:

Det bor en klubb der utpå øya,
There is a club out there on the island
der er det karer som kan sine ting.
there are guys who know their stuff (sic!)
Når bare dem blir varm i trøya,
If they just get some heat in their shirts (skirts?)
da kan dem lage mange store ting.
they can make a lot of great things (like making a snowman I guess)
Ja, vi skal alltid holde sammen,
Yes we will always keep together (don't take me away from mom)
selv om litt motgang møtes på vår vei.
even if we meet a little resistance on our way (little is clearly an understatement)
Da skal vi synge både du og jeg:
Then we can sing both you and I: (oh no, please, enough!)
At Sprint er klubben som har vaska seg!
Sprint is the clubb who has washed themselves (by the smell I doubt it...)

Horrible, horrible song. If one can sing this song without puking one would probably have to be a no-brainer like the players who actually is in the team.


The best team Sprint-Jeløy had this year

Now I can lean back and just wait for the comments to pour in.


At 4/21/2006 03:26:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm n ot sure of the reactor operating thing is directed at me, but the Army doesn't have nuclear reactors. (At least not the US Army) 

Posted by jedimacfan

At 4/21/2006 04:33:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well my knowledge on the difference between the army and the navy might be a bit unclear especially at 01:16am. But I have changed the fault now. To claim that someone who works in the navy got a job in the army would be too bad an insult. But 1 comment recieved and no bad feelings I hope... 

Posted by Ole

At 4/21/2006 11:42:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don`t know why you`re doing this Ole, but I guess your insults about Moss and Sprint/Jeløy are directed at me. The only problem with this, is that I agree with you! Who in there right minds would keep playing football for Sprint/Jeløy after they`d finished highschool? Why don`t they get an education like me, who quit (eventhough I was exceptionally talented) due to my highly academic skills and moved to the rainy city to fulfill my ambitions... I actually still got a couple of friends playing for this great team (I do think they`re great, because you won`t find another team in Norway who drink as much as they do), but they should really get a life! And about real men coming from Moss; you`re absolutely right! We`re not real, we`re unreal! 

Posted by Mr. T

At 4/21/2006 02:41:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

So nobody feels insulted? I give up..... Okay one last try:

Who in their right mind would ever consider giving their child the middle name "Kåre"? 

Posted by Ole

At 4/21/2006 06:31:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if working at a buss station after 6 years of studying is much better than working in a cafe. at least I get to drink much better coffee than you do. besides I need enjoy life before I'm going off to africa on my great new development NGO job!
Happy now?
miss m  

Posted by Anonymous

At 4/21/2006 07:07:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel very much insultet by your horrible comments on our beloved city. How do you dare? The place you make fun of is Moss/Jeløy aka.The pearl of the Oslofjord. Ole, an unhappy surprise will soon come and visit your pelvis (yes, your right its my knee!)


Posted by Læffen

At 4/21/2006 07:30:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss M: 
I get paid while being there. Free coffee on the other hand has never made anyone rich.

I am pretty big down there, but if your ability to hit balls is the same as the one contained by Sprint Jeløy I am not really scared. To consider the brown, muddy water around Moss as a Fjord is an hilarious thought. Somebody should call the government to search this "Fjord". They could have spared a lot of time in their hunt for the E.cli bacteria I presume. 

Posted by Ole

At 4/21/2006 07:46:00 PM , Anonymous Læffen said...

Shut up and cry! You are just afraid of my Wounded Knee!

At 4/21/2006 07:48:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is this dwarf calling himself Mr.T? There is only one T in Norway and that T is me!

At 4/21/2006 08:39:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...


Your wounded knee can't even bury my heart.

Mr. T

The other Mr. T. is the midget truckdriver trying to overtake your personality.  

Posted by Ole

At 4/24/2006 10:55:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! I`m not a dwarf! I`m just not that big! By the way, Sprint/Jeløy won their game on saturday, that`s stært! 

Posted by Mr. T

At 4/27/2006 12:14:00 AM , Blogger cervaggio said...

like your Blog ... would like to link it my own

At 4/27/2006 01:20:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, why do everyone get an insult but me? I'm kinda insulted that none of your feeble attempts were aimed my way. Beh! 

Posted by morten k

At 4/27/2006 03:58:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Morten k: 

I have allready insulted you under the post "Talking above my head" . If you didn't get it you are, together with Mr. A, my nerdy friend with a profound knowledge on time travel. So there you go, an insultment has been waiting for you all along. 

Posted by Ole


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