Wednesday, May 03, 2006

What will I do?

As you all now have read my blog for a while you are of course wondering "What will Ole do for a living?" Especially since you have read about my studies an not at least my highly interesting History of Weird Work. The question on who will be the lucky one to get use of all my knowledge and experience is an essential one. And here is the answer you all have been waiting for, at least some of it:


Recently I tried to get an answer on this question myself. I know what my objective is, but how to get there is still a problem. The highly uninformative newspaper Dagsavisen proclaimed that their workpanel would answer all questions regarding work. Therefore I sent them an enquiery.

All of you who believed that I will use my skills to make a benefit for a better world are unfortunately wrong. Heck, solidarity has never made anyone rich! And my exclusive skills would be wasted on such matters. This is what I sent of:


Subject: A question on work.

Dear Dagsavisen.

My name is John Tender and I have a question concerning future employment, and some friends of mine told me I could ask you.

I am an exchange student on the University of Oslo where I am writing my master thesis in media and communication. I will hopefully be finished with my master this summer and start look for work. I got high ambitions for myself and hope that you could give me some guidance.

In the start I expect to do a small job in a company or organisation in Norway (I want to continue working here as the salaries are better here than most places). I hope such a work will give me the opportunity to work abroad, primarily in Africa.

Once in Africa I would like to get to know some important people. It is actually necessary for me to have a job where meeting such people comes naturally. My final ambition is for these important people to set me up with the national government. Once I get to know them I hope they will give me the post as Propaganda Minister, or "Minister of Information" as it will be named.

As Minister of Propaganda I plan to build one really nice and comfy hospital where we can give room for maybe 1000 people (at least not more) who is suffering from AIDS and give them the best treatment possible. The hospital will of course be one of the best. I will also manage to get one female person into the government, as minister of culture, modernisation, integration or other unimportant department. The best would be if this women is a muslim so we also can remove her Hijab and truly liberate her.

I will then invite the foreign press and show them all this. What happens behind these beautiful things, like genocide, famine, millions dead of AIDS or other not so popular things will be unimportant and not my business. I will only show the press the good things. When this publicity is shown abroad I will of course explain the governments that we need economical support to sustain our development.

My salary for all this will be 10 percent of the money which comes in.

Now I wonder if you could give me a tip of a good starting job to reach this goal. My master is in media and communication, but I also got some corses in history of theatre and spanish. I also know how to make movies and I do some juggling on my spare time. Where should I send my applications?

The best thing would be to get staight into the position as Minister of Propaganda in for example Congo, Nigeria, Liberia or Zimbabwe (Mr. Mugabe could for sure need me), but this would be difficult. I hope therefore you, with your expertice, could help me out and give me some recomandations on companies and organisations in Norway where it is smart to begin.

Thank you so much for your help!

Sincerely yours,

John Tender

ps: how much do you believe I could gain in such a position?

I sent this request twice. But Dagsavisen never replied to me. Clearly their knowledge on work is not as huge as they insists upon. Experts my ass!


So if anyone out there has a good idea on how I shall reach my destiny as a minister of propaganda, don't hesitate, but give me your advice today!


By the way another hilbilly, tractorenthusiast which might be a candidate to date my little sister. Clearly he will take her on a lovely date on the back of his green, mean machine.


And for a little extra touch he will dress up in his protectional bodysuite and act retarded when her rage sets in:



At 5/03/2006 11:58:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What U.S. state is your sister vising? There's a lot of hillbilly white trash in the city I grew up in and I want to warn her if she's living there. 

Posted by jedimacfan

At 5/04/2006 12:22:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Her favourite tune at the moment is "South Dakota, mountain mama. I wanna go home, I wanna go home!" I guess most of the people living there are inbreed, but that is just my guess after seeing these senior pics. 

Posted by Ole

At 5/04/2006 02:33:00 AM , Blogger jedimacfan said...

Nope, not my state. I don't remember as many hicks in South Dakota as I've seen in South Carolina.

At 5/04/2006 02:08:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Take me home, countryroads, to the place, where I belong. WEST VIRGINIA, mountain mama - take my home, countryroads".

These are the lyrics to the great song I guess your sister is refering to. Looks like she, or some hillbilly, have twisted the words a little bit... Which is a damn shame, since this probably is one of the best songs for a pianoplayer to play when he`s working in a piano bar. Hey, maybe you should learn how to play the piano Ole? I think you would be a great pianoman, sitting there in a pianobar, juggling with the breasts of the horny females sitting around you & singing along... 

Posted by Anonymous

At 5/04/2006 02:40:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you believe the job as pianoman and juggling breasts will get me into the position as Minister of Propaganda? If the answer is yes, I am all in! 

Posted by Ole

At 5/05/2006 11:30:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I thought you could be doing this on your sparetime. A Minister of Propaganda has to relax & party you know! And it will definitely learn you have to please a crowd, which is important for someone in that position... 

Posted by Anonymous

At 5/05/2006 04:08:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sover du aldri? 

Posted by Anonymous

At 5/05/2006 08:23:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can sleep when I'm dead. Jo sover. spesielt rundt kl 12 på formiddagen. 

Posted by Ole


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