Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Google paranoia

Good evening my fellow citizens of the world.

First of all, before I tell you anything else, I have to admit than I'm paranoid. Not completely like mental kind of paranoid. But I don't like to write the name of the big guy in the land across the atlantic and certain elements of destruction in the same sentence. You are welcome to tell me that nobody would check on me because of this, but I don't want to take the chance.

The last few weeks I have though about google, the search engine, and cyberspace concerning this. Don't get me wrong, I love google, I probably use it more often than I use my girlfriend. Before google and the Internet you actually had to read a book when writing an exam. Now you can search for whatever you want and get your sources from the Internet. Probably the sensors are to lame to bother to check it up.

But as many others I tried to combine google with my own name. I probably haven't done much of interest because I only got 11 results. But one of them was quite interesting. 2 years ago you had a campaign among the students to give the last hovedfag (old master) students 50.000 nok back on their student loan (big story, but they lost this tradition as a new study reform came to our country). Anyhow there was a paper at the local student pub where you could write down your name in favor of this campaign. I wrote my name down and thought no more of it. Now 2 years later I can find my name on the Net stating that I have signed my name in favor for this campaign. You may think "so what?", but imagine that everything you do may be found on the Net many years after, it's fucking scary!

Eventually when I'm finished studying I want a job. And you may blame me for being wrong, but which employer does not search google for their candidates? Probably this campaign will not affect many employers from giving me a job. But if you search my girlfriend name you will get this picture:


Imagine the employers sitting there. "Who should we hire? This guy who seems ok, or this girl who looked mentally challenged at a picture taken 10 years ago?" For shure they would have taken the guy. By the way I promise you she is not mentally challenged. Just once every month (please don't hit me!).

Now you might say "So? Nobody cares about such a picture." But think about this:

4 years ago I was working at a gay bar in Oslo, nice job by the way and some great parties. In the end the club went down because of internal conflicts (it was a gay bar, of course this would happen). I din't shed any tears because of this. But after the closure some of the ex-employees went to the media and claimed they had been fucked in order to get the job. I for shure didn't get into that part of the job. Exept for them not paying my taxes I couldn't complain. But my ex-boss called me and asked me if I wanted to go with him and some others to a big tabloid paper and claim the rumors to be untrue. I was quite busy with exams then and told him "no", and am I glad for that now!

Imagine my future empoyers sitting there, in their nice office, drinking a cup of coffe, discussing:

"Should we take this guy who seems ok or this other who has good grades, but has been of the front cover of the biggest tabloid paper 5 years ago, with a big picture and huge letters above, in bold, stating:'I HAVE NEVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ASS!'?"

Do you guys really think I would ever get a job in my life? Because of Internet and google I would forever be "that guy" from here to infinity, and beyond.

To help your imagination here is a pic of me working at this place (I got it for my 20th birthday)

It may seem funny, but imagine all those poor guys out there who does stupid things and ends up in the media, or people who writes petitions for or against somethings and ten years later don't get a job because their employer finds it on the Internet. Imagine how rich you could be if you archived a lot of silly stuff about people and then told them years later: "I can take it all away if you pay me 100$" or on the other hand "I sell you information about this person for 100$", which actually people are getting filthy rich by already. I for shure are never againg going to give my opinion on anything again, never. At least not with picture and full name. You never know where it's going to pop up. For shure I'm paranoid, so should you be.

Talking about media you may want to check this newspaper clip I found during my studies. Its from a nazi controlled paper during the occupation of Norway and it's totally funny today, back then I bet it was bloody serious. But I didn't know they had photoshop back then.

The text says:

"Phosphorwar with negrohelp."


Below it says:

"The picture of this smiling negro was published in the London magazine The Daily Sketch 31st of July this year. The magazine tells that the black gentleman belongs in Trinidad and is educated as an american pilot. The picture is taken the night between 27th and 28th of July at an american airport in England where the negros plane has landed after emptying his cargo of phosphor over Hamburg. The London magazine has obviously wanted to cheer up their readers with this laughing american negroface after accomplished work in Europe. But the picture doesn't gain its right before one sees it against a background of cutouts from Hamburger Fremdenblat which gives a notion of the havoc which the american phosphorwar with negrohelp has done to the population in Europe."

If you can find me a better photoshop from the same era, tell me. Creativity was obviously alive even in the totalitarian regime.

Stay tuned to omir.org as we will soon start with the daily dicethrow on my girlfriend and her behaviour!


At 12/21/2005 12:08:00 AM , Blogger morten said...

Bwahahaha, poor your girlfriend. What a great picture of her.

Also, this is a problem that only applies to people with really special names. If I google my name, I get 1000s of hits, and most of them are definitely not me, as anyone whould see. So I'm a rogue on the information highway :=

At 12/21/2005 07:51:00 AM , Blogger Ole said...

Hmmmm. So I should change my name to ole andersen or something? Just you wait they will eventually find that photosession you did 3 years ago amongst those 1000 hits.


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